Spam Unsubscribe Gives CafePress’s Life Story

Internet

Ruben picks apart the useless spam he receives from the spamming spammers who spam him with their spammingly spammish spam.

I just clicked the "unsubscribe" link in one of the billions of spam messages I get from CafePress, and this was the friendly message I received:

You have successfully opted out of the email cookie "Aloha1WelComeV12_V1" from domain "info.cafepress.com". This cookie had been unique and was used to help domain "info.cafepress.com" learn your interests in the content of these messages. Because you have converted your unique cookie to an opt-out cookie, your interactions with this email can no longer be associated with you.Important – If you delete the opt-out cookie from domain "info.cafepress.com", you will need to opt-out again from domain "info.cafepress.com". Please also note that opting-out from domain "info.cafepress.com" does not opt-out an individual person, or even an individual computer, but merely a single instance of a Web browser. Individual Web browsers do not share information with each other. Therefore, if you are running both Netscape and Internet Explorer, you will need to go through the opt-out procedure for domain "info.cafepress.com" with both browsers.

For Pete's sake, all I wanted to do was unsubscribe to your useless newsletters which I never wanted in the first place, I don't need a lecture on how your cookie systems work.

Hold on a second… in the message it says "learn your interests in the content of these messages". What does that mean? Are they keeping track of what I'm clicking so they can target me with more relevent spam? Am I the only one who's received this message? This is scary stuff.

Anyway I've tried to unsubscribe from this junk twice before, lets hope this try will work.

Netscape and Internet Explorer
I am so fed up with seeing only these two browsers ever mentioned on any commercial site. Firefox? Camino? Safari? And who actually uses Netscape anymore?

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Ruben Schade is a technical writer and IaaS engineer in Sydney, Australia who refers to himself in the third person in bios. Wait, not BIOS… my brain should be EFI by now.

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