Can anyone make out what this message is supposed to be?

“One please.”

My friends call me ~The Powerhh0use~ I suppose
due to my short height but big energy! I need
someone that can match my enerrgy!

“Might I help you make up your mind?” the inspector asked, and pressed a button on the wall. The portal into outer blackness squealed open once again, and the robot grabbed Bill and started to push.

I did not edit ANY of this message! What's the point of cryptic spam? Isn't the whole point of spam to try to coax money out of me?