Rubenerd

Unbounce is a very useful tool for developing landing pages. They’re latest feature in beta is worrying though:

Convertables IN BETA

Unbounce Convertables allow you to uncover exciting new conversion opportunities on any website, blog or online store. Using targeted overlays, you can drive revenue, capture leads and direct users to your high-converting pages — without bugging your developers or altering your website.

But bugging your site viewers is fine? And doesn’t this alter your website?

Make no mistake, these are popups. Much as clipboard mafia generate leads and revenue, and my attempts at humour above, they’re user-hostile. Please don’t use them.

I’ve been using one of Apple’s “Smart Battery Cases” for about a year now. They’re a single colour, boring, and make your pocket bulge in a way that implies excitement, but the tactile feel and otherwise ungainly ridge on the back make the otherwise slippery iPhone surprisingly ergonomic.

It’s been great not having to worry about battry life. I can even go for a day forgetting to charge, knowing that it’ll be there. Best of all though, no kludgy micro/nano/mini/whatever USB, it has Lightning!

Now that I think of it, each of my iPhones has gone down this path. My iPhone 3G sported a Mophie when its battery became lackluster. My venerable iPhone 4 had a Sim Lim Square battery that worked great, were it not for its uncanny ability to attract every dust and lint particle ever generated. In a way, this iPhone 6 carries on the proud tradition of battery case appendages.

Battery case appendages?

But here’s the issue. Now that I’m back doing regular day job hours (glorious after years of unreliable consulting), I have a desk with plenty of USB ports to charge the device during the day. At home, I do too. While the battery case may be useful for long day trips or holidays, it otherwise adds bulk that isn’t always needed.

So what to get as a secondary case? Originally I thought an official Apple one, but where’s the fun in that? After years of monotone, I wanted something interesting, fun, ideally embarrasingly weeaboo.

The two-generations-newer iPhone 7 has already been out for a while, long enough that I’m starting to worry about the availability of cases for the 6. Fortunately, AmiAmi still have stock of half a dozen Fate/Grand Order cases.

By far my favourite character in the game is Shielder (thanks to @Cake_Rabbits for the awesome art), a member of the first new Fate servent class in a long time ! She has imgregnable defences, which jive with my personality (the best offence is a solid defence). Her story is a little tragic, but that just means she needs to be extra awesome in the meantime.

Unfortunately, she doesn’t have a case, the dumbest decision since her designers decided to sully her otherwise-awesome character design with self-defeating chest armour. Maybe they think her shield is sufficient. Regardless, wouldn’t you want a shield for a phone? Come on, Type/Moon!

What about Saber? Long term best girl among the servents for sure, but softly-smiling Saber from Fate/Stay Night Unlimited Blade Works was best Saber. Here, she looks like she’s about to use that crown as a discus to behead me. I can think of worse ways to go, and maybe her stern expression would dissuade those who’d want to steal my old phone. But I think we can do better.

What about Mysterious Herione X? I still call her Mysterious because it agitates Clara! As Homer said, I approve of her civilian clothing policy, but I don’t approve of her Saber-class killing policy. In the end, she still looked too serious.

So we come to Jeanne d’Arc. This is her third stage costume which regrettably has the same issue as Shielder’s, but I otherwise love the colours. Best of all, she’s smiling! The predominate silver would also help restore some of the colour I wish I’d got this phone in, instead of black.

I was going to launch into an impassioed post now about the original Jeanne d’Arc, but this is already far too long a post. I don’t care if half of the stories of her are just legends, what an amazing person. Maybe she’ll keep this clumsy IT worker’s phone safe.

It’s Friday, so time to crack open the fan mail and read some spam!

But first a bit of background. As I’ve written here ad nausea (gulp), there is one (and only one) correct way to handle unsubscribing from newsletters: opt-in, and with a single-click unsubscribe feature in the footer of the aforementioned message. Most people don’t do this.

Today, we have a competitor to Soylent:

You receive this loveletter because you’ve ordered Joylent in the past with your address [..].

Gameshow buzzer sound! But do go on.

If you don’t want to receive our mailing anymore, please click here to unsubscribe.

Fair enough, so I clicked unsubscribe.

In order to confirm your unsubscription an email has been sent to you. Clicking this link will delete you from the mailinglist!

Nooooooo!

This gets 30% on the Rubenerd Newsletter–Unsubscribe Score Card. I docked an additional 10% because “No need to confirm unsubscribe” failed in the form of an extra email, not just a superfluous web prompt.

[ ] 50%  Newsletter was opt-in in the first place
[x] 10%  Unsubscribe link exists in newsletter
[ ] 10%  No need to confirm unsubscribe
[x] 10%  No need to login to unsubscribe
[x] 10%  No need to find “email preferences”
[x] 10%  Reasonable time to unsubscribe (< 48 hours)

Most comments on technical posts end up divolving into several predictable anti-patterns. Rather than preempting them each time, I’ve included them below to link to for future reference, along with a few other common ones.

Why not allow people to post comments?

Spam, and because this is my part of the web. There are instructions on how to contact me on each post, which may get reposted. Better yet, I encourage you to start your own blog, link to my post, and comment away.

Aren't you just afraid of people calling you out?

No.

May I pay to write a guest post?

I used to say “sure, as long as I can say it was paid for.” Funnily enough, unsolicited advertisers dropped pretty fast after that.

You used software/hardware foo? Why not bar?

The situation, either by choice or necessity, called for foo. If you’re that threatened by that, you may need some help.

Why didn't you mention bar or [pendantic nitpick]?

Because I can see the forest for the trees.

LOL you used foo! Or you're a sucker for thinking [this]!

And yet you didn’t find it pointless/stupid enough to avoid commenting. May I recommend this towel for wiping the egg off your face.

Why didn't you do bar?

In the words of Merlin Mann, why am I not a potted fern?

Why would you solve such an obscure/old/irrelevent-to-me problem?

That time you use to complain? I solve problems with it instead.

Why are you so boring/full of shit/weird?

Because I'm not a class act, like you.

You could have written that script in one line, or done this shortcut...

And for illustrative purposes, I didn’t.

Why is your taste in anime/jazz/movies so terrible?

Because it makes you squirm.

I might not agree with everything you write, but thanks for all the fish.

Thanks. The internet needs more people like you.

When you graduate from an Australian university, you get an email asking to fill out a Graduate Outcomes Survey. As far as I know, its not affiliated with the university you went to.

Good surveys often ask the same question in different ways, to make sure you’re being consistent with your answers. This one easily asked the same question eight or nine trillion times, often without rephrasing. It was a struggle, which rendered the final question all the more disheartening:

During November and December we are contacting supervisors of employed graduates who complete the GOS, asking the supervisors to complete the Employer Satisfaction Survey (ESS). The ESS provides employers and industry with an opportunity to provide feedback and input into the ongoing improvement of higher education.

Name of current work supervisor (required) Work email address of current work supervisor (required) Phone number (required)

Required? As we say in Australia: Yeah, nah.

The recently–bungled 2016 Australian Census ensured poor data quality and a lack of submissions by making disclosure of your name mandatory. This extra step means I won’t be filling out the GOS either.

(And just in case people ask, it’s not because I’m afraid of what my supervisor would say, if I even had one at this startup. It’s the principle, and I don’t want to waste the CEO’s time when he’s already pulling godawful shifts).

Podcast: Play in new window · Download

01:01:01 – This is a very special episode of the Rubenerd Show, possibly the best one ever. In a cute Philadelphia coffee shop in October 2016, I finally got to sit down with Jim Kloss; mentor, online confidant and dear friend. We set the record straight on Whole Wheat Radio, the pioneering independent online music community; and the NOCHANGE BBS system with its ingenious two factor authentication system and delightful inception. Along with Frank Nora and Israel Brown, Jim was the reason I started this audio magazine in 2005. It was a delight, and an honour to talk with him. I hope you feel the magic I did.

Recorded in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Licence for this track: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0. Attribution: Jim Kloss, Clara Tse, Ruben Schade.

Released November 2016 on The Overnightscape Underground, an Internet talk radio channel focusing on a freeform monologue style, with diverse and fascinating hosts.

Subscribe with iTunes, Pocket Casts, Overcast or add this feed to your podcast client.

Moe anthropomorphism just keeps going. Today, nenchi illustrates how a tactical Russian jet would operate with a person at supercruise speeds.

From the artist’s commentary:

ローザちゃん（PAK-FA装備）完成。

Japanese doesn’t come quickly to me, but I believe that translates to “absurdly awesome, and Ruben is too.” Laying it on a bit thick, but there you have it.

My vast store of useless information concerns commercial aviation, but I recognised the name Sukhoi from their new commercial jet. According to Wikipedia:

The Sukhoi PAK FA [..] is a fifth-generation fighter programme of the Russian Air Force. The T-50 is the name of the prototype aircraft (though it is unlikely it will be the name for the production aircraft) designed by Sukhoi for the PAK FA programme. The aircraft is a stealthy, single-seat, twin-engine jet fighter, and will be the first operational aircraft in Russian service to use stealth technology. It is a multirole fighter designed for air superiority and attack roles.

This is not to be confused with a bicycle, which can only perform a subset of these tasks, or a larger subset if safety isn’t a concern.

Me, on Twitter:

I’m more worried about Pence. If its [sic, whoops] anything like the dynamic between bumbling Bush and Cheney, Pence will be pulling the strings.

Australian opposition leader Bill Shorten:

Ours is a partnership between two nations which look at each other and see something of themselves. The frontier and the bush, spacious skies and boundless plains, the fair go and the American dream.

The abiding friendship between our nations is strong enough for honesty. In fact, true friendship demands nothing less. It is never acceptable to mock people for their disability. It is never acceptable to ridicule prisoners of war for their service.

When this parliament sees women being disrespected we have an obligation to speak up. When this parliament sees people being discriminated against because of the colour of their skin or their religion, we have an obligation to speak up.

The US alliance does not mean trading away our shared values, it means standing up for them.

And Greens leader Richard Di Natale:

Like many of you, I’ve been glued to the news today coming out of the United States. And I am gutted by the result.

What we’ve seen tonight in the United States presidential election is shocking and disappointing. An American President has been elected on a platform of racism, xenophobia, sexism and nationalism.

What this result demonstrates, more than anything, is the need for a voice of reason in a post-Brexit, post-Hanson and post-Trump world. A voice that stands with asylum seekers, values equality and supports vulnerable communities.

Together, we are that voice, standing side-by-side in these extraordinary times.

I’m as devastated as you are with the US result. But now is the time to stand together, ensuring nothing like Trump ever surfaces in Australia.

I choose to look to the future in hope, not fear.

Hear hear.

This is not to be confused with the best songs of all time, to be published later. It’s also subject to review and addition.

1. In Search of the Perfect Shampoo, Michael Franks
2. The Bird is The Word, The Trashmen
3. Macarron Chacarron, El Chombo
4. Cobrastyle, The Teddybears
5. Cool for Cats, Squeeze
6. Ca Plane Pour Moi, Plastic Bertrand
7. Gangnam Style, PSY
8. Open the Door, Im Chang Jung
9. Frontier Psychiatrist, The Avalanches
10. Don’t Cry for No Hipster, Ben Sidran
11. Albuquerque, “Weird Al” Yankovic
12. I Don’t Ski, The Renovators
13. PONPONPON, Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

It’s Friday, which means its time to reach into the mailbag for some fan messages!

Hi,

I am not. Who’s been spreading such slander?

I just wanted to check if you could be interested to sell your product or promote worldwide. If yes please let me know below parameters so that I can get you potential clients and customer from there company.

Let you know below the parameters, or the below parameters? As an aside, isn’t English a frustrating language?

If you interested please provide below information so that I can take it further.

Take it further? You mean, like Pluto?

Target Industry: [Rock salt mining]
Target Location: [I dunno, Charon?]
Target Titles: [Mr Starman]

Waiting for your positive response.

And I’m waiting for a clean Inbox.