Rubenerd

This evening I was clued into a post submitted earlier this week on Flickr by exxtrooper which lists 101 valuable things we've learned from video games! You really should read all of them yourself if you have the time, but these are my personal favourites :).

• Medicine became obsolete in the year 2004, when doctors noticed that hiding behind a wall caused human health to regenerate to 100%.
• Eating stuff found on the floor is good for you – your parents were wrong.
• Enemies, rather than approach you directly, behave like Michael Flatley (of Riverdance fame) on a conveyor belt.
• It’s surprising just how useful martial arts are on the modern battlefield.
• When you get shot, you don’t feel any pain, nor does it affect your aim. However, it does cause your vision to turn red for a couple of seconds.
• If you’re stuck in life and don’t know what to do, simply attempt to use every single item in your possession on your obstacle. If none of them work, go back the way you came. You’ve clearly missed something.
• You can jump twice your own height, but water will kill you instantly.
• In medieval times, women regularly fought in wars, wearing armor that afforded them equal protection to suits of plate mail worn by men, despite only covering about 3 inches of skin.
• Many, if not all, problems can be solved with a Holy Hand Grenade.
• Music spontaneously plays whenever you do anything exciting.
• You can travel anywhere instantly, as long as you’ve been there before.
• Women who are experienced mercenaries and can carry multiple heavy weapons do not look like Bulgarian discus throwers, but are lithe, slim, and have very large breasts.
• Being shot in the face is only a minor inconvenience, but going into an area you are not supposed to will result in instant death.
• Frogs die in water.

Screenshot from Commander Keen One

For what it's worth, my favourite games after all these years are still Lemmings (the version for DOS), SimCity (before version 4), Worms 2 (hence the Holy Hand Grenade reference!) and of course Commander Keen episodes one, two and three. Commander Keen is without a doubt the greatest game of all time. And don't you ever let anyone ever tell you otherwise!