This is my fantasy manpage for features every *nix shell program should support. I know steering open source software developers is akin to hearding cats, but I think these are reasonable.

RUBENBSD(1)    Rubenerd Commands Manual    RUBENBSD(1)
  
NAME
    cmd - a placeholder for any *nix shell software.  
  
SYNOPSIS
    cmd [--cowsay] [--debug] [--help] [--verbose]  
  
DESCRIPTION
    This is Ruben Schade's wishlist for options that 
    all shell software should implement. If an option 
    clashes with an existing invocation, these options
    must take precedence.   
  
OPTIONS
    --cowsay
        Pipe output to everyone's favourite acme 
        package since xeyes and fortune.
    
    --debug
        Print what your program is doing, in detail.
  
    --help
        Print an option summary. 
 
    --verbose    
        Print what your program is doing.
  
RUBENBSD(1)    Rubenerd Commands Manual    RUBENBSD(1)

Actually, that’s about it. I still like you if you don’t implement verbosity options, but you’re off the Christmas card list.