This must be one of the worst pair of blog posts ever typed.

Eh, except for all of those:

“okay like today i woke up and had XYZ for breakfast then i went to school it was fun but the teacher was boring at lunch the guy who is tooooooooooootalyyy hot asked me 2 pass the kechap and i was all like sure and he was all like date and i was all like f*ck off hehehehe !!!!!!!!!!!111!!!1!1″

Anyway, the bastard who stole my salsa never admitted (cowardly act…) so I was forced to buy a new one.

And if you even think for a second that you're going to steal it, I'll steal you!.

Didn't make sense I know, but it sounds all macho. Hah, what would I know about macho?