Ladies, gentlemen and everybody else, I have an announcement to make.

If anyone — and I do mean anyone — sends me an email, a text message, a Twitter reply or a Twitter direct message, a blog comment, a discussion point on a wiki, a reply on a forum, a message attached to a carrier pigeon or a smoke signal and assumes that because I'm under the age of thirty that I would appreciate the inclusion of the misused and abused acronym "lol", it will no longer be responded to with irritation… it will generate no reply whatsoever.

I don't care if you're a close friend or family member, or if you're house is burning down, or whether you're a close friend or family member who's house is burning down, you will not get any reply. Zippo. Zero. Zilch. Zbignew Brezinsky. That reminds me, I need to review his latest book at some point. In one word: eye opening.

ASIDE: Come to think of it why you would be sending me a "lol" message if you’re house was burning down is beyond me. "hey rubz my house is totally burning down lol". You evil insurance scamming person with little to no grasp of the English language!

Still, don't try to change the subject. As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me by talking about your house and Zbignew Brezinsky's latest book, if you sendeth me the cursed "lol" you will not receiveth any communique from moi… no exceptions!

Thank you, and good evening.