Jim Kloss woke me up this morning


Jim Kloss from Whole Wheat Radio

The heading reads like the opening line of a terrible blues song.

You know that feeling you get when you realise something and your heart stops beating for a second? Or when you go to make a grilled cheese sandwich and you realise you don't have a cast iron frypan OR the right cheese? Argh!

This morning while casually checking my alpine email (sounds like I have imap servers in the Alps or something) I got a message from the Whole Wheat Radio servers:

Dear Ruben,
I am already aware my last name sounds like a furry animal that eats coffee fruit. You will not get any money from me in exchange for your silence on this, and shame on you for attempting it.
~ Derek Sivers

That’s clearly the wrong message.

Dear Ruben Schade,
The WWR page User talk:Ruben Schade was changed or deleted on 05:30, May 20, 2010 by EJ On Duty.

I was made aware recently that accounts on WWR are deleted if there is no activity in a predetermined period of time (a month, is it?) but I was sure I'd logged in recently. Anyway I got the idea that my account was deleted, and along with that all the artists and songs I'd tagged and rated over the years! I nearly sprayed my overpriced Starbucks coffee all over my ThinkPad.

Fortunately my account wasn't deleted, just my old user page. PHEW! Turn the fire alarms off! Stand down red alert!

Jim Kloss from Whole Wheat Radio

It’s a really good idea

It turns out the reason why this happened is because Jim has implemented a new policy on the WWR wiki that demands people buy twelve new CDs from CD-Baby with WWR referral codes a month, otherwise electric shocks are sent from your computer's keyboard the next time you use it and send you into a cardiac arrest. Only when you've taken out your credit card and shown it to your webcam along with a signed statement that you'll buy CDs will the shocks stop and a sense of normality return.

I have two problems with this. Firstly, if you're convulsing on the floor, how are you supposed to buy CDs? Secondly, what if people are cheapskates and spend all their money on expensive Starbucks coffee that they spray on their laptops which necessitate replacing keyboards? Hey, that's the solution! Spray coffee on your keyboard and it'll disable the WWR personal doomsday device!

Whole Wheat Radio

Jim is not impressed

It turns out the reason why this happened is because Jim has implemented a new policy on the WWR wiki that demands people use their real names. I've been using the name Rubenerd since I was a little kid because at the time I thought it was a really clever contraction (or portmanteau, or whatever it is) and even lent the terrible name to my site here, but I think using proper names is a great idea.

  • It makes the site look more professional
  • it encourages people to be more honest and friendly
  • if people don’t like it they could always call themselves James Bond or Chuck Peddle. Hey, that’s cool, I could change my name to Chuck Peddle. "Jim Kloss, why can’t I edit wiki pages on my KIM1 or PET?!"

I think I'll stop now.

Author bio and support


Ruben Schade is a technical writer and infrastructure architect in Sydney, Australia who refers to himself in the third person. Hi!

The site is powered by Hugo, FreeBSD, and OpenZFS on OrionVM, everyone’s favourite bespoke cloud infrastructure provider.

If you found this post helpful or entertaining, you can shout me a coffee or send a comment. Thanks ☺️.