Rubenerd

Most comments on technical posts end up divolving into several predictable anti-patterns. Rather than preempting them each time, I’ve included them below to link to for future reference, along with a few other common ones.

Why not allow people to post comments?

Spam, and because this is my part of the web. There are instructions on how to contact me on each post, which may get reposted. Better yet, I encourage you to start your own blog, link to my post, and comment away.

Aren't you just afraid of people calling you out?

No.

May I pay to write a guest post?

I used to say “sure, as long as I can say it was paid for.” Funnily enough, unsolicited advertisers dropped pretty fast after that.

You used software/hardware foo? Why not bar?

The situation, either by choice or necessity, called for foo. If you’re that threatened by that, you may need some help.

Why didn't you mention bar or [pendantic nitpick]?

Because I can see the forest for the trees.

LOL you used foo! Or you're a sucker for thinking [this]!

And yet you didn’t find it pointless/stupid enough to avoid commenting. May I recommend this towel for wiping the egg off your face.

Why didn't you do bar?

In the words of Merlin Mann, why am I not a potted fern?

Why would you solve such an obscure/old/irrelevent-to-me problem?

That time you use to complain? I solve problems with it instead.

Why are you so boring/full of shit/weird?

Because I'm not a class act, like you.

You could have written that script in one line, or done this shortcut...

And for illustrative purposes, I didn’t.

Why is your taste in anime/jazz/movies so terrible?

Because it makes you squirm.

I might not agree with everything you write, but thanks for all the fish.

Thanks. The internet needs more people like you.