Rubenerd

I get emails like this daily, but I love the ones that even get the name wrong:

I came across Latest posts! while looking for resources for our next blog and I knew I had to reach out immediately, kudos on a fantastic blog. My name is Elisa, and I’m reaching out on behalf a growing fashion retailer who operates in the same marketplace as Topshop.

This month, we’re looking to secure sponsorship placements with five prominent blogs and Latest posts! jumped straight to the top of our list, we could offer you somewhere in the region of $15 for a post. Would you also be willing to accept link placements on pre-existing content on your site?

They’ve obviously taken the alt text from the Home link. But even ignoring that, what at all does my blog have to top with clothing stores or fashion? What keywords in my website or RSS feed indicated I was a good target for this spam? I know, they just spray it out. But it’s still funny.

That ringing in your ears? It’s not just my podcast or spam, it’s something with a miracle cure!

Have you seen this new Tinnitus System yet? It`s called “Tinnitus Miracle”. I’ve read the whole thing (all 250 pages) and there’s some great information in there about how to naturally get rid of tinnitus without drugs, surgery or any kind of gimmicks. … sincerely, Dolores Thompson

You seem legit Dolores, but I’m not sure whether to respond to you or the five other totally legit sounding people who sent it to me this morning, including Margaret Lindsey.

But this is my favourite recent one:

The Cyber Crime Division of the FBI gathered information from the Internet Fraud Complaint Center (IFCC) on how some people have lost outrageous sums of money to these impostors. As a result of this, we hereby advise you to stop communication with any one not referred to you by us. We have negotiated with the Federal Ministry of Finance that your payment totaling $5,900,000.00(Five Million Nine Hundred Thousand Dollars).

To redeem your funds, you are hereby advised to contact the ATM Card Center via email for their requirement to proceed and procure your Approval of Payment Warrant and Endorsement of your ATM Release Order on your behalf which will cost you $250 Usd only and nothing more as everything else has been taken care of by the Federal Government including taxes, custom paper and clearance duty so all you will ever need to pay is $250.00 only.

People lost money, so they’re giving to a foreign national? Wouldn’t that be more of a CIA thing?