It's interesting how some people really don't like admitting that they have problems, and those same people get angry when other people do admit their problems, especially medical. For some reason they get angry because they think that by admitting problems you're:

  • Not being a strong person, or a "man" or a "strong woman"
  • Showing off in some strange way
  • Looking for attention
  • Just trying to get someone to feel sorry for you
  • Using some form of emotional blackmail to get them to do something for you
  • Hoping they’ll make you a bento lunch with sachertorte for desert… mmm sachertorte.

It's really quite a tragic state of affairs when you know they'll always be those who will look at you with scorn when you're trying to cope with problems in your own way.

I'm not one of those people! I've just come out of my latest bipolar deep blue funk (sounds much more poetic than "down cycle"!), the first substantial one since my mum died last year. A lot of problems which had been building up since that happened seemed to reach a climax last week, and my brain just went into standby mode. As anyone who has this damning condition knows, there's really no way to describe it other than to use a string of inadequate words: pain, anger, depression, helplessness… it's not good whatever it is.

Seems my MacBook Pro wasn’t the only thing not charging!
Seems it wasn't just my MacBook Pro that was having trouble charging this week!

I'm still feeling a bit exhausted, but it's good to be back to planet earth again. I have to start learning C++ again this next semester, my glorious exploration of Smalltalk, Objective-C and Ruby will have to be put on standby itself. Which is a shame, because I could really use some help with my small talk :-)