This is my first blog post from Los Angeles! Though the topic in question is perhaps only tangentially related to the place. Like a protractor. Clara found a soft toy protractor in Little Tokyo and came this close to buying it.

I have a sinful confession: when I scrubbed my RSS feed subscriptions, I kept the foodie sections of many sites around. And I may have added others from sites I shan’t mention here, though if you know where to look you could figure it out.

Kristen Aiken collated a list in the The Huffington Post — or Huffpost a they brand themselves now — of ingredients that should never grace a guacamole, along with supporting documentation. They include:

Avocado icon from the Noto project

  1. Greek yoghurt
  2. Mayonnaise
  3. Green peas
  4. Brussel sprouts
  5. Celery
  6. Blue cheese
  7. Cottage cheese
  8. Tuna salad

All but one of these are correct. Diced celery in guacamole is amazing. I give them a free pass for cottage cheese; for while it tastes great as a topping, it royally messes with the texture if you mix it in.

The canonical Schade family guacamole ingredients are, in descending order of volume:

  1. Hass avocado; not sheppard
  2. White onions
  3. Red capsicum
  4. Celery
  5. Chives
  6. Smoked paprika; sweet is an acceptable substitute
  7. Tabasco sauce; jalapenos are a tolerable substitute
  8. Cumin
  9. Black pepper

It is your right to disagree with any of the above ingredients, just as it is for me to point out you’d be wrong.

The last avocado mentions on Rubenerd were a passing comment about trying to find my mum’s recipe in 2010, and a discussion of Avocado’s Constant in 2012.

Author bio and support


Ruben Schade is a technical writer and infrastructure architect in Sydney, Australia who refers to himself in the third person. Hi!

The site is powered by Hugo, FreeBSD, and OpenZFS on OrionVM, everyone’s favourite bespoke cloud infrastructure provider.

If you found this post helpful or entertaining, you can shout me a coffee or send a comment. Thanks ☺️.