This Hacker News thread response was like a flash of lightning:
chess44 7 hours ago [-]
What if I don’t want to be who I am and I want to change myself?
Apparently I am a very feminine man and I don’t want to be like this at all. I can’t stand how people treat me. When I am being myself I’d much rather not socialize at all than try to meet people.
This was me for the longest time, and I’d be lying if I said if that aspect of myself still didn’t bother me a bit now.
I invariably preferred female-dominated activities in high school, and only chose the male ones out of peer pressure. I far preferred gymastics over the contact sports that made my clothes muddy and gross. The Sims was far more fun than any first person shooter. Most of my best friends in primary school were girls, until hormones and shyness kicked in; I just felt like I had more in common with their interests and thinking.
This all sounds incredibly sexist now, and there are plenty of women who’d prefer the so-called male versions of activities above. But the pressure to conform and be into those guy things in school was huge, lest you be called a wuss or a homosexual slur. Because, naturally, exhibiting traditionally feminie traits is an affront to masculinity. And this thinking still exists in the real world to an extent.
The reason I’m posting this on my blog as opposed to replying under my HN pseudonym is I don’t have any concrete advice, other than the stereotypical be yourself. Because trying to be someone else is soul crushing.