Sitting in a coffee shop, listening to two computer nerds preening their feathers at each other. It’s not so much eavesdropping, because they’re practically shouting with the most stereotypically-nasal voices you can imagine!

So far I’ve overhead:

  • that’s security through obscurity
  • yeah, well, correlation is not causation
  • have you considered…?
  • the fact of the matter is
  • that’s just planned obsolescence
  • Docker

Then another gentleman walked in with his laptop. He asked how to get on the Wi-Fi, and proceeded to get a patronising earful about VPNs. When the barista started explaining, one of them piped up again saying, and I quote:

“I can make your Wi-Fi so much better, but you probably don’t want to know because it’s like French to you, right? Lol!”

Was I ever this insufferable? Don’t answer that.