This originally appeared on FakeNoAgenda, a parody site about the podcast a few fans and I ran. It’s preserved here here for posterity.

Fake No Agenda, art by Enoshima Junko from Pixiv as seen in first FakeNoAgenda post

No Agenda #579:

But just, the whole process of putting that thing in your mouth… I just don’t understand it.

Agreed, chewing tobacco makes absolutely no sense. Spitting it out is disgusting. But smoking, and exhaling it into the air for everyone to breathe… that’s totally understandable. Banning smoking is just heavy handed nanny state-ism, consarnit!