Encyclopedia Brand Generica



Am I the only one who gets a bit frustrated when I see a brand and either thing the company sells something else, or when the brand is so generic the company literally could be selling anything?

Brands that sound like something else!

For example, here are some brands I've been exposed to in Adelaide recently (how indecent) that sound like they sell something different:

  • Packers aren’t removalists, they sell… doors?

  • Chess Moving don’t teach you how to move chess pieces like a Russian chess master who can beat a number crunching space heater, they’re removalists.

  • Shuffle! is an anime about a nerdy guy who’s sought after by dozens of cute girls, NOT about mad blackjack skills or a particular style of dancing.

  • Rubenerd.com is a blog the proprietor claims to be about computing but has as many useless and off topic posts such as this one as real content.

  • Cork County isn’t a gigantic bottle sealant sitting on the lower side of Ireland, it’s an entire region with people and scenery and all that stuff.

Brands that sound like… nothing?

And here are some brands I've been exposed to in Adelaide recently (how indecent, is that joke old yet?) that from looking at I didn't have the foggiest idea what they were.

  • The folks at the gloriously generic General Trader sells high end kitchen utensils and appliances with a website that requires Flash without gracefully falling back on an alternative. Apparently they think FreeBSD people (that Adobe refuses to support) either don’t have kitchens, or more likely they can’t cook. Touché.

  • The similarly generic Tradelink company sells bathrooms and plumbing supplies. There’s a joke there about bad brands and certain things that go on in bathrooms, but it would be far too low brow for a site such as this.

It's madness I tell you, madness!

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Ruben Schade is a technical writer and infrastructure architect in Sydney, Australia who refers to himself in the third person in bios. Hi!

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