Matt Holden’s list of terrible Australian café trends for the Sydney Morning Herald and the Age was so good, I’m brushing off my HTML definition lists instead of using Markdown.

Milkshakes with stuff on top
Strongly agree. Cut that out.

Neutral. I like them, but Krispy Kreme and their ilk have tainted them.

Mildly agree. I liked these for their kitch American diner value at Billy Bombers, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they've been abused to sell less food.

Tumeric lattes
Strongly agree. Dear god, why?

Flowers in everything
Mildly agree. As Matt posits, this is probably to do with sweet, sweet Instagram marketing. I did used to like rose sauce on salmon though, that was amazing.

Kale in everything
Strongly agree. Kale isn't as bad as everyone says. It's worse.

Superfood salads
Strongly agree. Quinoa is lovely in breakfast porridge, but psudo-science doesn't belong anywhere, not least salad.

Pulled pork
Mildly agree. Okay I did used to really like this. Most of what people sell it as barely qualifies though.

Coffee in wine glasses
Neutral. If only because I may have done this once. But coffee definitely belongs in a mug, and nothing else.

Hybrid pastries
Mildly agree. Cronuts are amazing, but I'm not really sure how they're supposed to taste like a croissant.