Back to school specials!!1!one!


The conventional wisdom passed down from older people who either should have known better or had rose tinted glasses, was that high school was the best years of your life. Hell no, my current life is orders of magnitude better!

But it was the eager Back to School specials that especially irked me as a kid. You’d be working on a personal project with the TV or radio on in the background and bam! A reminder than in a few days you’d be back among the backstabbers, teachers who claimed your mum wasn’t having chemo because she had hair, and cruel practical jokers. But hey, check out this sweet deal on pencils.

(I’m serious, I had a teacher at the Australian International School in Singapore claim my mum had hair, so she must not be having chemo. Who heard of wigs? Another claimed she was booking her morning chemo sessions to coincide with his PE classes. Presumably both men figured out how to put on pants in the morning, unless their hapless partners did that for them too).

There were only three good things that come from high school: most anime, a few teachers who were beyond outstanding, and some friendships you’ll treasure for the rest of your life. Other than that, it can jump into a large lake of its choosing.

I realise as I write this there may be a high schooler witnessing those words now, and are now sad at the prospect. Just know that it doesn’t last forever, and there’s a high to very high chance your life afterwards will be much better.

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Ruben Schade is a technical writer and infrastructure architect in Sydney, Australia who refers to himself in the third person. Hi!

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