Rubénerd ツ

So I’m trying to sleep but I can’t, so I get out of bed and aimlessly wander around the house for half an hour; eventually I found myself drawn to the eerie glow of my laptop screen I forgot to turn off. For some reason I fired up OOo and started doodling this diagram, then went to pour a glass of water…

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Garfield has the right idea… again…

Another night, another case of insomnia. In this case it’s 03:00 and I’m still not only wide awake, but clearly possessing the energy needed in order to not only climb out of bed, but to sit myself in front of a computer, take that inital blast of blazing light as I turn the monitor on, and start typing a blog post.

It’s funny that more often than not for me I don’t have trouble sleeping when I have a huge problem or obstacle to overcome in life, but rather when I have hundreds of smaller problems. They seem to build up exponentially at times to the point where I can be propped up in bed and my thoughts are running together faster than a relay team. Sorry for the crappy comparison, but you try to be witty at 03:04.

Why has my bank said the rent has been paid but my landlord says it hasn’t? Why hasn’t that package from Japan arrived yet? Do I want to live permanently here or back in Australia? Would super capacitors run hotter and therefore need more cooling than a traditional battery? Why am I always so nervous? How could there be plants at the centre of the earth according to the "Journey to the Centre of the Earth" movie if there’s no sunlight? Where are my keys? Should I give up on this long hair experiment and have it all cut off when it’s taken over 4 years to get this far? Is OpenBSD really that much slower than FreeBSD and NetBSD in real life even if benchmarks say that is in certain circumstances? Why do I still expect to see mummy at some point?

Is that it? I hope so. Why do I want to learn German, Dutch, Swedish and Japanese of all things? German makes sense, my dad and half my family are, and Dutch might be somewhat similar to German, but why Swedish and Japanese? Why does mess accumulate so fast? If the bed frame I’m sleeping on broke at an angle, would I slide off the bed, crash through the window behind me and fall 7 floors? Does my medical insurance cover falling out of my bed… from 7 floors up? Why do I worry about worrying as much as I worry about the problems themselves? Who decided that toothpaste should be minty in flavour and that mints are fresh? Why do I worry about not having too much of a social life if I prefer that lifestyle? Why is concentrating on your breathing in order to drown out distractions so simple in principal but so hard to actually do?

Can you order home delivered sleep? You know what, that generated too many negative images, had I been more awake I would have been alert to that before I had typed it. I would have also realised that I could have just as easily used the backspace key and deleted that line instead of trying to explain why normally I wouldn’t have written such stuff here.

Not sure if this is helping me sleep or not. Perhaps I should dust off an old copy of Learning Microsoft Visual C++ 6.0 and read it. Ah no, alas with me boredom doesn’t make me tired, it just makes me feel bored. Perhaps a silly anime series? Nah, I don’t have the energy to laugh, and I’d have to read subtitles. Quick walk around the block? Nah, I’m too tired. Aha, problem solved.

I will get the hang of this sleeping business eventually, I might lose some sleep over trying to figure it out though.

I’ve been having real problems these last few weeks sleeping for some reason. A combination of really bad insomnia, emotion over a certain recent event and other whatnot have really started taking their toll, I’ve been feeling really physically and mentally tired all day, every day. When you sit in your computer chair working and studying in the early afternoon, late at night, early in the morning or any other time of the day, and the number one fantasy going through your head at all times is how nice it would be to climb into a comfy bed and go to sleep, you know there’s something wrong!

I haven’t been drinking any more coffee that I usually do, and certainly none in the late afternoon or evening. Even my sister seems to have been having trouble as of late herself for similar reasons.

I think I need a change of scenery. Perhaps I’ll change my desktop environment on one of my other machines from KDE to GNOME, just to shake things up (I liked my week long GNOME trial more than I thought I would, though I think I’ll keep KDE on my primary FreeBSD machine for now). I’ll uninstall Mono though once it attaches itself.

Perhaps I’ll try doing some morning hikes around Sungei Buloh instead of the usual Bukit Timah park as well. I’m a wild guy!

He shoots…

He scores!

Don’t you love insomnia?

If you want to get yourself KMahjongg from the KDE project and you’re running FreeBSD or NetBSD, update your ports tree or pkgsrc and make install clean in the kdegames3 subdirectory in the… wait for it… games directory.

If you installed the entire KDE system from scratch, or if you’re running PC-BSD, Kubuntu or another such system with KDE pre-installed, you’ve already got it in your Games KDE menu folder! Just don’t expect to get any work done with this game and any of the others that install along with it!

And now I’m off to bed. Just read on Twitter that Dave Wares is sitting at Costa Coffee having a Gingerbread latte and a biscotti. I’ll be having food related dreams again tonight. Is that normal? Ah but we all know how I hate to be normal right?

Oh and the desktop background on my FreeBSD desktop machine is Nodoka (the one on the far left, one of my favourite anime/manga characters!) and friends from Negima; I like having festive backgrounds at this time of the year you see :).

The random music and iLife rant at 0200 episode!

Insomnia is a bitch, I’m related to Kevin Rudd, Jamiroquai’s virtual insanity, recording a podcast at 0200, great welcome back forum posts, thanking y’all, viagra, TedPod passes 100 episodes, alphabetical order sucks, jetlag, evil sleeping cycles, shocking people, really disappointing iLife 2008 release, dumbing down iMovie, subtle Final Cut Express persuasion speculation, stealing bread and shirts, British Apple advertisements, MacBreak Weekly ratholes, wiping operating systems, big arse apple juicers, self consciousness and why I can’t do video, age and cynicism, online newspapers, genealogy and family trees, convicts going to Australia, Mary Wade to us, living in Singapore, maddening mysterious Champs-Élysées song, Avril Lavigne tries to sing Japanese, slurred stress importance, sitting in a Singaporean coffee shop and making the ultimate kickarse juice!

Download MP3 to listen ↓ 42:00 minutes, 19.20MiB

You can also stream this episode and view its Internet Archive page.