Rubénerd!

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done." ~ George Carlin

Damn it, I miss you George.

I don't believe in synchronicities to the extent where two spookily related things are purposefully crashed into each other with some form of supreme power for my own bewilderment and amazement, but what I do know is coincidences scare the begeebuses out of me, if begeebuses were something tangible and they were previously inside of me. I think I'll stop that imagery right there.

In this case the TV tuner in my Mac was blaring out the sound of David O'Doherty performing at the Melbourne Comedy Festival during his 20 things that piss him off from 2009 or something segment, and just as I arrived home he arrived at Twitter on his list:

"Twitter!"
I have no idea what the point of Twitter is. It's like an idiot megaphone shouting out benalitites of your own life. I made an omelette today. Oh really, who cares, your only friends are sitting at their computers.

I listened to some of the other things on his list (blue lights under car chassis, stupid government advisory ads that don't do anything!) that generated laughter and applause from the audience, but I thought it was interesting that his Twitter jab fell completely flat.

It was so quiet you could hear a punchline drop

Did it fall flat because there were so many people on Twitter as they were watching the performance? Hah, I'm not that deluded :). But I do have a theory!

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of vacuous, inane, self absorbed people on Twitter and I poke fun at them all the time myself (TMZ lolz!) but poking fun at all of Twitter by saying its just people talking about grilled cheese sandwiches just isn't funny. Not because it may or may not be true, but because that gem of a witty barb has been used, reused, recycled, twisted around, refitted for new clothes and spat out by every single half baked comedian who's waved a mouse at a computer screen for five minutes, scratched their head and has been given a microphone since the service started!

It's only observational comedy when you joke about something that hasn't already been observed by thousands of other people already. What's next, a joke about Britney Spears or aeroplane food? Come on David, less of this predictable, boring stuff and more Very Mild Superpowers, at least with that routine I was able to chuckle once.

New way to connect with fans? Nah!

I know he was only doing it to get some laughs, but it also really surprises me that someone in his position isn't checking out Twitter at all. If he doesn't get it that's fine, there are plenty of independent artists like the awesome Marian Call and even the illustriously fabulous Stephen Fry who have seemingly figured out how to connect with fans by typing 140 character messages.

I know, it's Earth shattering stuff... as George W. Bush would say, you'd have to be one of them rocket surgeons to get that!

As a matter of disclosure, I am a Twitter user, but I'd have probably had the same second hand embarrassment if he'd made the same kind of worn out joke about MySpace.

"MySpace!"
I have no idea what the point of MySpace is. It's like the back page of a seedy magazine offering suggestive services under innocent sounding names. Hi, my name is Sunshine. Oh really, what do you really do?

Haven't you overreacted?

Of course! But that's the great thing about having a website like this, nobody was forced to pay for any of my material here before they read it ;).

Drew Carey: Okay let's play a game of Worst Dating Service Videos or Hats. Each of you come and get a box of hats, and the aim of the game is to come up with as many ideas for the world's worst dating service videos by wearing the hats in the boxes!

Greg Proops: Hi, I'm Colin Mockery...

I was sitting at the Boatdeck Cafe this morning thinking of all the work I was supposed to be doing, and it was so overwhelming I decided to write a nonsensical Java application to tell us The Tale of Alan A'Dale instead.

Feel free to paste the code into your favourite text editor then execute it on your machine if you wish to feel the wondrousness. That is a word isn't it?

/**
 * Tells us The Tale of Alan A'Dale
 * Adapted by Ruben Schade 2009
 */

public class AlanADale {
  private String theTale = "\n";

  public String tellUsTheTale() {
    for (int count = 0; count < 3; count++)
      theTale += "This is The Tale... ";
    theTale += "of Alan A'Dale!\n";
    return theTale;
  }

  public static void main(String[] args) {
    AlanADale NotOnlyButAlso = new AlanADale();
    while(true)
      System.out.println(NotOnlyButAlso.tellUsTheTale());
  }
}

The IntoYourHead show war episode!

It's official ladies, gentlemen and everyone else: the fine folks at the IntoYourHead show are officially at war. In response to this situation, I have recorded this highly sophisticated response. Please listen to in a well ventilated area, for the fumes of professionalism may overwhelm you.

Download MP3 to listen ↓ 09:18 4.3MiB

You can also stream this episode and view its Internet Archive page.

This has already has had its time on Digg and has appeared on at least three podcasts I listen to, but I still get a kick out of it and most people here in Singapore haven't seen it (I'm sure Felix has!) so I have to mention it here for fun: The Hide-a-pod!

You love your iPod. It's a great product. You take it everywhere and you use it every day. But owning a device so desirable and fashionable as an iPod comes with one major drawback . . . the iPod has become a target for theft. So how can you take your iPod out of your home without fear?

The way the case protects your iPod or iPhone is by disguising it as a brown Microsoft Zune, something nobody would want :).

The best coverage I heard of it was of course on Cranky Geeks 073 where they discussed one possible flaw: nobody actually carries a Zune, so the incidence of theft may increase as criminals think of Zunes as merely cases that contain something more valuable! One of my favourite episodes, even though it didn't have Sebastian Rupley or spiffy segues ;).

In a way I feel sorry for Microsoft, they obviously at least tried to come up with their own "tragically hip" media player experience but it fell on it's portable electronic arse. I wonder if this will be lumped together in the same Microsoft product graveyard years from now along with Windows Me, Microsoft Bob and Clippy?

Anyway you can purchase a DRM-free Hide-a-pod at their totally legit ordering page.

Tonight's guest: Elke Schade in the Rubenerd Studios!

Wearing a tutu, the Malaysian powerpoint culture in coffee shops, signs you may have a nerdy son, Rubenerd Show host Ruben turns 21, the flotation ability of glass deodorant containers, irresponsible environmental wastage in razor packaging, reviewing Twitter, Rubenerd Interview (Ruben's sister Elke), Principal Skinner from the Principal's office, stupid product packages, Ruben's hopes and dreams, tornadoes on Taiwan, Ruben's half-arsed MySpace page, how to pronounce MyMyMyMySpace, evil apostrophes Billy Connelly, George W. Bush losing the war on drugs, coffee is disgusting apparently, getting a MacBook), and drying your hair in the shower!

Download MP3 to Listen ↓ 45:00 minutes, 20.6MiB

You can also stream this episode and view its Internet Archive page.