Posts tagged with "andy kaufman"


Don't write blog posts at 01:30am

TheAndyKaufman on Tweetdeck

From the Department of Passing Interests comes a message from a person claiming to be the comedian, writer and entertainer Andy Kaufman, someone whom I admit I did not know before listening to The Overnightscape, but then again I suspect that was the point.

Here it is, straight from AndyKaufmanLives.com which has more redundant HTML than even my site here has. Microsoft Office products should not be used to generate web documents!

I have spent the last 15 years haunting the internet. People ask when I am going to “return”. You do not seem to understand. You left me 25 years ago. I have no use for you now. My message to the world is this… f*ck every last one of you.

I also really love frosty chocolate milkshakes.

Do I know of whom I'm talking about? Not really. If you read my blog, you probably don't either. Come to think of it, do we "know" anyone? What's the definition of "know"? Is to know to have met them, talked to them or intimately know details about their life that perhaps at times you could even remind them of? Is it more of an issue of acquaintance, or perhaps something deeper than even friendship?

We're all looking for answers in life and have met challenges we've either taken by the shoulders and knocked senseless, or have accepted the feeling that it's the inevitable and not worth fighting against. I admit I've felt far too much of the latter, less of the former, and from the sound of it Andy has as well.

Making lemonade when life gives you lemons is tough when life hasn't given you any sugar to make it with.

Flinders Ranges

In an ironic twist, in his message discussing the world's ignoring of him, he is ignoring those who were born after the fact, say less than 25 years ago. Like me. Like a not so statistically small percentage of the world, many of whom I suspect would have been his target market. That's fine.

The water goes under the bridge, the grilled cheese sandwiches get cooked, the world keeps spinning and the people who've decided life is precious and beautiful don't just try to live through another day, we appreciate the fact they've been given the opportunity. When I see how lucky I am to have a roof over my head, plenty of food to eat and several dozen people who give me some of their time every day to read my posts here because they think I'm interesting, I feel darn lucky. I'm 23, still haven't finished studying and I don't have a mum, a girlfriend. I have nobody to hug. Some days it's tough. Other days I just think of those other things and in the words of Michael J Fox I just "think it'll get better from here".

You can take the phrasing of this next part however you wish. I'm a rationalist so I'm going to take it literally as it sounds. Andy Kaufman died 25 years ago. The hardest part of getting over something isn't the anger, the lashing out at the very people online who were interested in you and who could have helped a revival, it's the acceptance. Acceptance is tough.

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This person claiming to be Andy Kaufman (I'm old fashioned, I need evidence) seems to have worn our his patience. Well to be fair my curiosity was piqued but not overly aroused. Frankly I'm just worried that when I die there will be someone who says they're me and claim that my death was staged. What a scary prospect.

Philosophy goes in circles doesn't it? Lots of things do. Car wheels, the reasoning of so many politicians, conspiracy theories. Some are essential to the success and function of our planet and our lives, some are superfluous. It's up to us to make that distinction, but given our shared past it seems it's not so easy to reach a consensus after all.

AndyKaufmanLives.com. So does the alien in my basement, the supposed replacement of Paul McCartney, the apparent lie that we landed on the moon, the mind control chemicals spewing from every air conditioning unit. I guess if we keep telling ourselves something is true, eventually to us, it is. If he really does exist though, I wish him all the best and hope he finds a better group of people than us that he clearly deserves. Deserves sound like desert, like a big cheese cake. With strawberries and turkey gravy.

You take the good, you take the bad, and there you have... my Sunday philosophy post. In the eternal words of Mr Mackey: "mmmkay".


Andy The Code Kaufman Geass Quiz Kaufman

The Andy Kaufman, the self professed living comedian who supposedly faked his death sometime between 1912 and 2041 has a series of questions on his website, surprisingly titled AndyKaufmanLives.com.

It took me less than 5 minutes to finish it with what I 110% guarantee are all the SUPERIOR as well as CORRECT answers that were all figured out after months of laborious research. Now it's just a matter of claiming my prize. Prize is spelt with a "z" right? To help me explain the salience in my answers (salience?), I'm going to employ some folks from Code Geass. The people from Clannad were getting fed up with my ramblings.

ASIDE:I believe it’s related to Santa Clause, Christ and grilled cheese sandwiches as part of a mission to expose covered briefcases that walk away from 70s era bubble walls. Slovakia is on the damned moon people, wake up from your coffee and smell the astroturf! It’s not hard to glance, pretend, expose or sauté mushrooms, all you need is a beginning, a middle and an end-faced bromide concentrate that doesn’t exist, but wishes it did. Damn it wishes it did. Like Baked Alberta. Wait, that was the wrong state.

I could be wrong though, I mean, there’s a first time for everything right?

Man on the Moon

  1. WE WANT THE TRUTH, BAG THE TRUTH MY FATHER SAID, LOADED
  2. He’s very creative, yes I am the babish bagman team oarswomen
  3. Do impressions maybe some bean macaroni
  4. He plans these things he takes over and helps absorb
  5. Mr. Kaufman gets his own naughty Sabbath

Andy Kaufman Revealed

  1. THE DEPTH OF THE CONSPIRACY WAS WITH WAG MACE
  2. I said I was going to look for a walker but ran oat to the bowls
  3. To Andy everything was theater and this was just more rock posture
  4. It was Wednesday May 16 1984 and I had grey hose
  5. Work them up get them angry stomping their feet ablaze, less faceless

Abel Raises Cain

  1. SHORTLY AFTER HAM MADNESS, MY FABRIC DIED OF A HEART ATTACK
  2. Taste it and say that’s Kapsiki not babka
  3. Because this idea was so absurd at the time it sparked an Icelandic Ianthina
  4. At this time I think we shoold talk about cannabis-resin
  5. Traffic had come to a halt because a bull and a cow with heptic sap

The Book of Illusions

  1. SUCH A BRILLIANT BOOK MR. ZIMMER YOU HAVE THE ROBOT TO KISS THE RAIL SMILE
  2. Oh martin Claire says don’t be Calippic
  3. I woold like to meet Hector Mann but how can I be sure he is alive to the baba
  4. After those first hectic minutes there was a sabayon of cake
  5. There is an irrefutable logic to Claire’s statement: Maglip kills his falafel

Bubba Ho-Tep

  1. MR. KENNEDY ASK NOT WHAT YOUR ROAD HACK CAN DO FAN
  2. It’s time for that laelia toast abbey
  3. Big damn bugs alright the size of my fist the size of a peanut butter and banana sandwich man what do I care?
  4. Well well well if it isn’t my favorite pachisi hat, and you!
  5. What kind of life he had you know his kids his gaddingly hip losers

Lost in the Funhouse

  1. WITH THE HELP OF MARTY KLEIN AND THE TALE OF OATEN ABACUS
  2. George Shapiro and Howard West had sold him to the aberrant baked-potato cabaret
  3. George quickly started selling Foreign Man with nagging sausage
  4. Tony Clifton was his name although nobody in New York km/h or hPa
  5. The movie was shot at Sambo’s and there was no Saigon

Eddie and the Cruisers

  1. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD THE TAPES DOC TWO MA JAWS TWO MA
  2. I want something great I want something nobody’s else does bakery
  3. In the morning they told me Eddie was gone they hadn’t found his ball
  4. When you’re hot you’re hot where you been hiding yourself with Moe
  5. Can I help you guys yeah tell Tony Eddie and the cruisers ass hats

The Rampler #23 through #30

  1. (FROM #23) WHO’S ANDY KAUFMAN A LOT OF TRIP WIRES JUST HAVE NO IDEA
  2. (FROM #24) So you don’t think we’re in some kind of a tabour shoe
  3. (FROM #25) What is this thing called I always see this stupid thing in tacky shells patterns
  4. (FROM #26) The chance that it’s the real andy kaufman is pachinko kool or law
  5. (FROM #27) People just naturally walk at different speeds so they are not like really next to Y2K

Thank you everyone. Questions, comments and suggestions are welcome and will be answered in the reverse order received, so make sure you collate your questions, comments and suggestions in advance so you all know who should post in what order.


Rubenerd Show 252 2008.09.25

Click for larger versionThe airport scare iPhone episode!

I caved and bought an iPhone; the reasons why I was disappointed with Google Android; sophisticated text messages from my sister; the LG Secret mobile phone; snapping Australian Medicare cards; New Zealand Australia Centrelink migrations; Gordon Brown's Labour speech in the UK; palindromic numbers; distrusting spell checkers with gibberish; fancy new embedded Rubenerd Show cover art; compressed graphics looking crap; antihistamines; the term podcast; my take on the Andy Kaufman situation on The Overnightscape; my dad setting off security at Adelaide Airport; the iPhone keyboard; the TwitterFon iPhone Twitter client; I love the Objective-C programming language; fond memories of the Palm Tungsten W and Palm OS; basing your opinion of devices just from spec sheets; practical use for GPS and Safari; and hallucinogenic throat lozenges!

Music for this episode performed by Chris Juergensen from Magnatune.com.

Download MP3 to listen ↓ 33:00 15.2MiB

You can also stream this episode and view its Internet Archive page.